Few situations are as maddening to parents (new or otherwise) as baby sleep difficulties. After all, shouldn’t a baby just know how and when to sleep? When you’re exhausted, well-meaning advice (or outdated myths) from your parents or friends often just make you feel as if you’re a failure as a parent. You’re likely tempted to buy anything that hints at helping your baby sleep — and read every article on how to get a baby to sleep.

“You should not to try to change baby’s sleep habits to match your own,” advised Dr. Bill Sears. “Try to better understand infant sleep patterns, so you can see how to put her to bed, so she can sleep sounder.”

Possible reasons babies aren’t sleeping well

There are many reasons babies don’t sleep well — some of which are nature’s way to protect them as they develop, and some of which are common sense.

Babies have shorter sleep cycles and don’t sleep as deeply as adults
Infant sleep cycles last 50 to 60 minutes (much shorter than the average adult sleep cycle of 90 minutes). During the transition from deep to light sleep, babies often wake up if they’re hungry, wet, or otherwise uncomfortable.

They are uncomfortable
It’s hard to stay asleep if you’re uncomfortable — even as an adult. While we may have learned to power through, it’s not in the baby’s best interest for them to do so. Check if your baby is hungry, wet, or has a dirty diaper, too cold or too hot, or is sick or not feeling well.

“My youngest had severe eczema and would wake up throughout the night itching and crying,” Monica Holmes told Mom.com. “We recently started using a humidifier in her room and it’s made a huge difference!”

Common baby sleep myths

Here are a few common infant sleep myths that just aren’t true.

Delay your baby’s bedtime so they sleep longer
Sadly, unlike for some older children and teenagers, this is not true. In the first three months, babies don’t usually sleep more than four hours at a time due to their small stomach capacity. The older they get, the longer babies can sleep without a feeding — but unfortunately, that’s not guaranteed.

Tire out your baby so they fall asleep faster
One of nature’s crueler tricks is that an overtired baby takes longer to fall asleep. They’re too tired and crabby to properly settle down. Try to get your baby ready to sleep before they get to this state.

Feed your baby rice cereal to help them sleep
If only it were so easy! Unfortunately, feeding your baby rice cereal will not help them sleep. Research suggests there is no statistically significant improvement to sleep after feeding infants rice cereal before bedtime. Furthermore, until 6 months, your baby’s digestive system is not prepared to digest the rice cereal; you also risk your infant aspirating cereal into their lungs or gagging.

Techniques to help your baby sleep better

Thankfully, there are many proven ways to help your baby sleep better (and some of these may work for your child).

1) Establish a bedtime routine
One of the most common tips given is to establish a regular bedtime routine. “The body is a simple machine — keep it on a schedule and it will follow,” pediatrician Dr. Steph Lee explained to Mom.com. The spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) continued, “Make sure your kid gets into bed around the same time every day.”

2) Turn off screens at least an hour before bedtime
While this may seem odd to include in an article about babies, some parents do use a screen to entertain their babies. (This is not recommended by AAP, by the way.) “I tell many of my patients at least one hour before getting into bed, turn off all phones, laptops, and TVs, to really make sure the brain has time to wind down for the night,” advised Dr. Lee. “Screens are very stimulating to the brain due to the bright lights, even with a night filter on.”

4) Create an environment conducive to sleeping
For night feedings, keep the room dimly lit so your infant can start differentiating between day and night. Avoid changing diapers, unless they’re soiled or really wet. Some people play calming music, nature sounds, or have a white noise machine to drown out environmental sounds.

5) Try diffusing essential oils, like lavender
“We use a diffuser with lavender essential oil and a sleepy time blend 30 minutes prior to sleep and throughout the night,” suggested Anitra Durand Allen to Mom.com. As always, please check with your child’s pediatrician before using any essential oils or supplements as they can potentially pose serious risks to babies and kids.

Sometimes, nothing works, despite everything we try. It’s not your fault. Some babies are just terrible sleepers.