When the COVID-19 pandemic began in early 2020, it was a scary and confusing time. It was hard to know what was safe and many parents wondered (and worried) about the safety of schools. Across the country, school districts transitioned to virtual learning and many parents found themselves suddenly in charge of their children’s learning in a totally new way.

Most families never expected to homeschool, let alone for a whole year. As the one-year anniversary of the start of virtual learning approaches, moms all over the country are reflecting on the homeschool experience — the good, the bad, and the really challenging (hello, trying to teach someone seventh-grade math!). Read on for some candid truths about how hard this year has been.

Focus on the Perks

“Both of my kids have focused on the perks from the get go. Eat when I want! Pee when I have to! Walk away in between Zooms and get fresh air when I want to! Choose my own PE! No bra! Wet hair? Don’t care! They’ve had a solid outlook because of the comfort factor of being home.” — Ava L., High Point, North Carolina

Lots of Learning

“I never wanted to homeschool, but the public school options under COVID didn’t sound good for our second grader. Homeschooling has been great for us — we’re happier, he feels he has learned a lot more this year, and it looks like we will continue for the foreseeable future.” — Sky N., Minneapolis, Minnesota

A Disaster for High Schooler

“Distance learning has been a terrible disaster for my high school senior. She is basically staying enrolled for band stuff. Plans to drop out in early May and take her GED. Failing 3/4 classes, so yay for band, I guess.” — Name withheld by request

Different Models for Different Kids

“My elementary-age child is now in school full time, after a hybrid model for the first half of the school year that was a real struggle for my extroverted kid. My shy middle-schooler is still on a hybrid model. Full time is much better for my youngest but hybrid works for my oldest!” — Jessica, Richmond, Virginia

Lucky at Home

“We’ve been virtual all year, there is an in-school option but it doesn’t feel safe yet. I had no idea it would be this long, but we’ll keep doing it until my husband and I are both vaccinated. It’s working out OK, but it’s stressful. My husband and I are lucky to be able to telework 100%, I think I would be so stressed with the kids in school.” — Kaylee B., St. Paul, Minnesota

Positive Test Anxiety

“My kids are still distance learning and will be for the rest of the year, I think. We have the option of changing to in-person every grading period. For us right now, with me in school and the husband working from home, it works well. We get an email every day from one or both schools (middle and elementary) that someone has tested positive, so I just can’t deal with that kind of anxiety.” — Kirsty H., Houston, Texas

Special Education Needs

“I have second and fifth graders, one who has special needs. He just went back to in-person learning, part-time four days a week, last week. Academically they were doing fine, their teachers are wonderful and doing an admirable job in the remote setting. Special education services were the real struggle and reason we chose to go back. Our community numbers are remarkably low (now at <1% positivity) and teachers are in the process of vaccination. So I feel really good about things safety wise. I feel more angst about tension in our community between parents who were on opposite sides of the open-remain closed debate.” — Alexa B., Evanston, Illinois

New School Going Well

“My kid is in middle school and new to her school which is all virtual for now. Rest of district is hybrid but her school is overcrowded so unable to safely distance and has some issues with ventilation. We’ve been pleasantly surprised, she’s made friends and doing well. Transition back to real school will be hard for her!” — Toya B., Cincinnati, Ohio

Boredom Issues

“He’s doing fine in school, but is bored out of his mind. He’s struggling with all the rest. I don’t mind aspects (sleeping later, outlets for his fidgeting, almost no homework, the ability to go drive to the beach for lunch), and really am bothered by others (no socializing, mostly). I’m impressed by his teachers for the most part. I’m frustrated by the district/school board for the most part.” — Ginger R., Carlsbad, California

So Many Screens

“Distance learning is going OK, but I am concerned that my kid is going to be a total screen time zombie. We already had struggles with how much he wanted to be on screens and that was before he had to be on an iPad all day for school. He’s going to need a digital detox after all this.” — Pamela F., Holland, Michigan

Less Bullying

“My son has been bullied on and off for most of his time at school, so honestly distance learning has been great for him. He’s had a almost a year of not having to deal with mean kids. I’m not sure he’ll want to go back.” — Anida Y., Oakland, California

Can’t Do It Anymore

“I hate everything about distance learning. I have a teenager who is surly and lazy and who needs to get out of my house. I can’t keep doing this. I’m done.” — Name withheld by request

Best Grades Ever

“I’m sort of shocked at how well my two high schoolers are doing. Without all the distractions of school, they have the best grades they’ve ever had. And they like having more down time (and video game time) since the school day goes so much faster.” — Baylee V., Des Moines, Iowa

Jealousy

“We are still distancing but have the option to go back in person next week. My husband is very COVID cautious and doesn’t want the kids to go back. I’m struggling with jealousy for the families that seem to have an easier time making this choice. I wish I could feel safe enough to send them back.” — Marnie D., St. Paul, Minnesota

Always a Homeschooler

“We’ve been a homeschooling family since our first kiddo started first grade and we’ll keep homeschooling once COVID is over. It has been a weird year, because so many people think they are homeschooling and think the understand what our experience is like, but COVID homeschooling isn’t real homeschooling.” — Jessica H., San Jose, California